A Bittersweet End

As I face the reality that Baby Donald 3.0 will probably be born very soon, I am also hit with the reality that this is nearing the end of getting to feel her inside of me. Although it can be uncomfortable sometimes too, I LOVE feeling her kick, stretch, roll, hiccup, and move in my tummy! I love when she is pushing on one area and I rub that spot or push back and she responds. I love how she gets all energetic when I drink orange juice. I love being able to see my stomach pulse up and down very quickly from what I assume is her practicing breathing while her back is pressed up against my stomach wall. I love watching for those tummy jumps when she has hiccups. I love knowing that wherever I go, she's there with me and she's safe without me having to keep an eye on her.

I know from experience that the next step, holding her in my arms, will be equally as magical, and I am very much looking forward to that too. But then I have to share her with the world, and right now, she's all mine and we can share these secret moments of playtime in the middle of a crowd of people without anyone else even knowing that it's going on. Having your baby in your belly is such a miraculous and amazing experience, and having it come to an end is so bittersweet.

Keith and I have discussed that we might possibly have one more after this one, but that is still not definite. Having said that, even thought the "sweet" part of "bittersweet" is still greater than the "bitter", thinking that this might possibly be the last time I that I experience this type of bond with one of my children definitely ups the "bitter" ratio higher than with the previous two pregnancies when I knew that I was going to have at least one more. I wish there was a way to record physical feelings so that I could experience this moment any time I was feeling nostalgic, but I guess recording these emotional feelings and describing the physical in this way is the best that I can do. So... here's hoping that when I read this again in the future, I will be able to close my eyes and recall the amazing feeling of my babies wiggling around inside of me!