These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes

Last night I had a recurring dream that I've been having for the last couple of years. In this dream, I always realize that there is a room or part of the house that I had forgotten existed and all of the sudden I have new rooms or areas in my house. Sometimes the house is supposed to be our current house (in my dream, I know that it is my house, even though it looks nothing like the barn... in fact, I've never actually seen a place that really exists in any of my dreams) and sometimes it's the house we rented in college (but never the apartment or condo that I lived in when I first moved here). Sometimes these new rooms/areas are decked out with a flat panel TV, a jaccuzzi, or some other luxury items, and other times it's just an empty room or a fixer-upper. Sometimes it's just a bedroom, sometimes a bathroom, and sometimes even a whole loft-apartment on a floor that I've forgotten about. The obvious interpretation of this dream would be something like I feel like I need more room in my house, which would make sense right now with the addition of Corgan's "two feet", but I'm sure it's something deeper than that. Regardless, I have often tried to figure out if maybe my subconcious knows about a "room" in my house that isn't being used and I could be using better. The funny thing is that we have the silo room that has been neglected since we moved in, so sometimes I think that the dream is about that room. Other times I wonder if there isn't somewhere in the house that could be Corgan's temporary nursery until the addition is done and my subconsious is trying to tell me about it. Another funny part of the dream is that when I discover these unused rooms or areas, one of my first reactions is always excitement about having a new space to decorate.

This morning I decided to do a little research on recurring dreams, since I've always had them (as I'm sure many people have). When I was a teenager, I used to have recurring dreams about babysitting and loosing the child or the child being kidnapped and I had to find him/her. I had similar dreams about summer camp where I was a camp counselor and a kid ended up missing. Since I can remember I've had dreams about not quite flying, but rather taking HUGE slow leaps VERY high up in the air (like over trees and buildings and stuff). Sometimes in my dreams I'm unable to run and when I try to run I end up moving in slow motion (I was a runner in high school... don't know if that has anything to do with the dream, but it makes sense). Also, sometimes I dream an entire dream in audio only... there are no visuals. I remember first having a dream like this as a child (maybe 8 or so), and although it doesn't happen often anymore, I still have these dreams that occur in total darkness occasionally.

Now, I don't know how reliable this lifetreks dream interpretation service is, but in reading their "general themes" list and the interpretation of the items on that list that I've dreamt about, it totally makes sense. I had the "flying" (actually, leaping and floating for me though) dreams quite often in college. Their interpretation of the flying is that you are experiencing freedom and mastery. Being at college away from home and on my own explains the freedom part, and I was a pretty darn good student (I had the highest GPA in my CS class, and I was actually voted "Outstanding Junior" and "Outstanding Senior" in the Computer Science department by the faculty at UA) so that explains the mastery part. Since graduating from college, I've had dreams about missing a test, being enrolled in a course but forgetting to attend until it's time for the final, forgetting that I had homework or some other project that I was supposed to turn in, finding out that there was a class that I had forgotten to take and that I didn't really graduate, or some other variation of the above. I had these dreams toward the end of my "career" at Harris more often than I did in the beginning. Looking at lifetreks' explanation of the school-related dreams makes sense for the time in my life that I had those dreams too. When I first started working at Harris I was full of energy and excitement about working in the software engineering field. Although I was new and wasn't given a ton of responsibility in the beginning, I tried my hardest to be successful and to learn everything that I could. I wanted to shine like I did in college. However, as time went on, and Harris and working in Network Management (a domain that I'm not at all interested in) wore on me, I lost that desire to shine and eventually resorted to being happy with just knowing enough to keep earning my paycheck. I didn't have the desire to learn new technologies and therefore felt more and more out of place and like I was "faking it" in my field. The explaination for the school-related dreams makes sense for this situation too. I have continued to have these school-related dreams even now, which still make sense as I take on new responsibilities as a mom and wife and am always wondering if I'm really doing as good of a job as it seems like I am or if I'm just "faking it" here too. I guess we'll always second-guess our accomplishments though; huh? It's just human nature.

So, now that you know what my "dreams" are, what are yours? :)